I always could see other peoples professions and what they possibly would be doing when they grew up. However, it was just a blank stare for my life. I wanted to sing like Diana Ross at one point, then I wanted to be a Pediatrician like my phenomenal Pediatrician, Dr. Pai. Then I wanted to be a counselor, because that's all I ever did was listen to other people's problems. Then I wanted to open a business, but what I had no clue. Nothing ever seem to be rewarding and satisfying for me. I always ran from the thought of ministry (even now I'm shaking my head). I grew up around Pastors and preachers and their families. I always thought, "this is ain't a glamourous job to have at all". Even though all my life I always was told I would either be preachers wife, or ministering myself, or both; I never really thought much of it. The reality of it is, I never took the opportunity to leave for college because I didn't want to leave my church. Church was everything to me from middle school thru high school, and it still is. Ministry, its the one thing that I can relax and say "aaahhhhh" to.
Anyway, I was tossing the two schools back and forth. Finally by my best friend Toni, asked me "Why are you being so rebellious"? I was a little appalled that she would go hard on me like that for school, but she was right. (You gotta have one friend in your corner that will tell you the truth at all times.) Everything was in place, and I was set for school to start January 17, 2010 at Liberty University. Why I was still considering Regent, I don't even know. Here I am a whole year later, and it was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. Since starting at Liberty, I have learned to embrace the fact that what everyone has ever told me about ministry, is true. I stopped running from the call. How foolish of me to think I could ever get away from it in the first place. Ironically the forecast of being a preacher's wife and/or in ministry myself, proves to be true for both. My husband, is now embracing his call since he started at Liberty.
Its amazing to me that I choose to take Church Ministries in this season, and its not even apart of my degree program. It was perfect timing to take the course while being on a fast. The course is gear to help those understand their call or position in ministry, and what ministry is all about. When my books came, I was on Christmas break. I started reading the Ministry Is..... book, by Dave Earley and Ben Gutierrez and almost finished it. Then when the class started and the fast started, things became illuminated and uneasy as if certain words were jumping out at me. A lot of my prayers were answered through this class. A lot of revelation came through the books that I had to read for this class.
God is amazing. He knows us all by personality. He is careful to deal with us all by our personalities. After all he fashioned us, right?. He knows just how to reveal things to me because I'm always skeptical of myself. I think I have said this over and over, but timing is everything. I often think if I was working would I be where I am right now. I know I wouldn't! I wouldn't even be able to discern when God is speaking. Nor would I probably be looking for Him to have anything to say to me. But the very fact that I'm home and out of my element, I'm desperately looking for Him. God know just where to put you so you can listen and depend on Him. I hated being at home. Don't take this wrong because I love my children. However all my life I have worked for everything I ever wanted. Being fired from a job that I had just been awarded employee of the month and several other privileges floored my self esteem and independence. However, I didn't get it then, but I understand it now. There was a plan in place to get me right where I am today. I'm in school, I'm learning every day to depend on God and be submissive to my husband, and to tend to my first ministry- my family.
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